TTAC Takes the BMW 535i For a Spin

Back in the day, BMW didn’t exactly pander to its customers. We build, you buy. Life is life. As BMW’s fortunes and model lines expanded, options appeared. But the German carmaker never quite outgrew its arrogance stubborn streak. You want a 7-Series without iDrive? Not possible. Don’t like run-flats on your 3-Series? Go and buy what tires you like. Use the word “vagina” in a review? No press cars for you Schätze. Thankfully, you can circumvent the iDrive in the new 535i and run flats are now optional. Is this the harbinger of a kindler, gentler 5-Series?

Nein! Visually, the Bavarians continue to cling to Chris Bangle’s flame surfaced sacrilege. That’s an “Inside Baseball” way of saying the 535i is still pug-ugly both coming and going. Although BMW’s metal meisters have toned down the model’s Dame Edna headlights, the 535i’s riotous (not righteous) amalgamation of curves, creases, bulges and bustles is about as coherent as a teenager debating U.S. foreign policy– after his seventh alcopop.


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JRobUSC - 6/6/2007 11:20:02 AM

+5 Boost

hmmm... every OTHER review says the new 535 is incredible, nearly flawless, obsoletes the 550i, etc. Those are actual quotes from other sources, including Edmunds, Car & Driver, etc. And then there's this article. I wonder why everyone else would universally praise the 535, including the new aesthetics inside and out, and yet the one reviewer brash enough to call his site "The Truth About Cars" (as if there's any such universal thing) is the polar opposite. Could it perhaps be he just doesn't like BMWs? Or maybe he just wants to have a different opinion so he'll stand out and people will read his stuff instead of just getting lumped in with the same conclusions literally everyone else came up with? Which is it TTAC?

Johnel - 6/6/2007 11:32:24 AM

-2 Boost

At JrobUSC, "Every OTHER review says the new 535 is incredible, nearly flawless, obsoletes the 550i, etc. Those are actual quotes from other sources, including Edmunds, Car & Driver, etc. wonder why everyone else would universally praise the 535, including the new aesthetics inside and out, and yet the one reviewer brash enough to call his site "The Truth About Cars"

Could it perhaps be he just doesn't like BMWs? "

-------------------------------------------------

Perhaps because it could be that Car and driver and all other auto magazines have been paid by BMW to advertise and boast their products in their magazines, and, that this one fellow is not paid by BMW and speaks his mind as he sees fit!

M53R - 6/6/2007 11:39:27 AM

+5 Boost

Or perhaps Johnel should stop with all the BS?

S4cabriofoxone - 6/6/2007 11:57:51 AM

+4 Boost

TTAC has never been a good source. They're a biased, annoying website that doesn't give truthful reviews (no pun intended).

Agent009 - 6/6/2007 12:20:16 PM

+2 Boost

TTAC is VERY opinionated.

But then again do you want a critical review or wind blown up your bum? Sometiwes it pays to hear the other side of the equation.

Will_ - 6/6/2007 1:41:38 PM

0 Boost

That website is a joke, but this review was very entertaining, personally. ;)

"Use the word “vagina” in a review? No press cars for you Schätze. "

"What’s more, BMW’s swathed their ultimate thrones in a material they call leather that feels like charred and blistered road kill."

"What’s this? Martians have stolen the 535i’s transmission lever and left behind a replica of their sex organs."

...

lol!

To be fair, he did make it clear that the 535i was an extremely good car when pushed passed the point of daily commute driving.

...

"As long as I helmed the 535i emphatically, darting about, passing everyone, flaunting both decency and legality, the experience was exhilarating. At 9/10, the 535i is a weapon: cool, charismatic and kick-ass. It’s safe, predictable and plenty damn fast. The rest of the time…

It’s jittery. Yes, as soon as I rejoined the real world commute, I was miserable. I repeat: driving the 535i with even a modicum of civility at low speeds and/or stop-and-go traffic is torture."

SevorbeupstryIsBack - 6/6/2007 4:19:48 PM

+3 Boost

What a silly silly review! Just lost 6 minutes of my life reading that.

foodriver - 6/7/2007 3:02:18 PM

+1 Boost

This guy is trying to be a Jemery Clarkson but still misses by a long shot. He's not sarcastic nor funny or clever enough.

Will_ - 6/7/2007 4:46:05 PM

0 Boost

But their Toyota/Lexus reviews are flawless, and factual, right?

S4cabriofoxone - 6/8/2007 1:38:54 AM

+1 Boost

No, not really.