Agent 00J Exposes how Porsche has Conned Us All to Help Sell More Cars!

Agent 00J Exposes how Porsche has Conned Us All to Help Sell More Cars!
I normally sleep like a baby.  It really takes a lot to wake me up, or keep me from sleeping, and yet last night I couldn't sleep because I feel like I had been conned.

I feel as though one of the greatest sports car makers of all times has executed a con that is now spanning 3 decades - and we the automotive enthusiast community has allowed it to happen right before our eyes without calling Porsche out on it.

Well for me, the con stops now.  I am calling Porsche out on the con, and I invite you to do so as well.

Now, I know what you are thinking, what possible could Porsche have done to "create a con" on us, the automotive community?  A fair question to be sure, and one that I intend to answer for you.

Back in the mid 90's, Porsche wowed the automotive world with the Boxster concept that made the auto show circuit.  A true masterpiece, people waxed poetic about its lines and reminisced of days long gone by, images of James Dean were associated with this modern day interpretation.  Enthusiasm ran high.

Porsche brought the Boxster to market, and it was a smashing success.  It brought the price point of a Porsche down to the point that a "common" man could purchase and enjoy and with the availability of an automatic transmission ownership of a Porsche Boxster almost became prerequisite in many households.

And it is with the sale of the first Porsche Boxster that the con began.

For it is with the Boxster that allowed Porsche to branch off and start development of other lines as well as the continual development of their core product, the 911.

The next decade brought a firestorm of controversy when the Cayenne model line was introduced, but quite frankly it was more pure Porsche than the Boxster.

But what is pure Porsche?

And how is it that a 2 ton truck classifies as pure Porsche while a light weighted mid-engined sports car does not classify as pure Porsche?

Quite simply, 5 letters.

T U R B O

That's right, Turbo - or lack there of in the case of the Boxster.

Look back through Porsche lineage and the Turbo has always played an integral role, even in the entry level models like the 924 and 944.

And yet with the Boxster and Cayman which was added almost 10 years after the initial Boxster rolled off showroom floors, NO TURBO model has yet to be offered.

And yet the 911 has always offered the range topping 911 Turbo.  The Cayenne launched with the availability of a Turbo, even the new Panamera has a Turbo offering.

And yet the Boxster and Cayman soldier on without, and NO ONE has called out Porsche on this.

The turbo is something that defines the Porsche heritage.  Those all important 5 letters that adorn the rear section of the car that lets others know that while we may both drive a Porsche, my Turbo is the fastest of the lineup.

Ego, you bet. 

Pride, absolutely.

And yet Boxster and Cayman owners are content to settle for base and "S" model designations, all the while the rest of the TRUE Porsche lineup offers the piece de'resistance, the Turbo.

And therein lies the con.

Porsche got a whole lot of people to spend a whole lot of money on a car that wasn't up to Porsche standards so that Porsche could then develop model lineups that were up to Porsche standards.

And so the lineup sits as such...

Boxster / Cayman

Cayenne

Panamera

911

Hey, 3 out of 4 offering Turbo is good, right?

Well I for one don't know.  I think 4 out of 4 is the only acceptable solution.

Imagine the opportunity to purchase a Cayman or Boxster Turbo.  A range topping model within that model lineup that would have every other Cayman or Boxster owner taking notice when sitting at a stoplight beside a more powerful alternative to the car they are driving.

I know that when I had my 911, the only time I felt inferior in it was when I was behind a 911 turbo, for the simple reason that while my 911 was great, theirs was greater.

And within that scope of "my toys are better than your toys" Porsche has conned us all into settling for a car that doesn't even meet the Porsche benchmark of base model, "S" model and Turbo model.

And we all fell for the con.

And the diversion of the Cayenne actually helped Porsche continue the con as many, myself included declared that Cayenne to not be a true Porsche when in reality it was truer to Porsche than the Boxster has even been.

Join me in asking Porsche to stop the con today, and bring a Boxster Turbo and Cayman Turbo to market at once.

Top that model line off with the model it has been missing, and turn the bastard Boxster and Cayman models into the legitimate models they deserve to be.

And in the future don't even try to fool us by not delivering the goods.  A model lineup that DOES NOT include a turbo model is not a Porsche.

We are all smarter now, and will be on the lookout.

The con is over, checkmate Porsche.

I can't wait to order a Cayman Turbo, please let me know when it will be coming.

Be sure to check out the 2010 Detroit Auto Show Gallery


SteveSteve - 1/18/2010 10:24:23 AM
+15 Boost
I see that Autospies has run short of genuinely newsworthy manterial.


Agent63Agent63 - 1/18/2010 11:19:37 AM
+5 Boost
I have a brand spanking new 911 turbo on the way and I didn't fall for any cons!. Find actual news or articles. We don't need fillers, leave that for other sites. You should know better. Autospies.com is better than that.


pushrod27pushrod27 - 1/18/2010 3:06:02 PM
+12 Boost
this is one of the most retarded and juvenile articles I have ever read. is the person who wrote this 12?


GTR1GTR1 - 1/18/2010 11:51:17 PM
+2 Boost
a63 congratz bro! ur a lucky man


david999david999 - 1/18/2010 10:25:35 AM
-1 Boost

A turbo for the Cayman, but not the boxter is likely what they will end-up doing.


freeagentfreeagent - 1/18/2010 10:41:11 AM
+12 Boost
Not much of a post. That aside, the reason for this is simple. The Boxster/Cayman design is inherently a superior sports car platform, and a more powerful version would run rings around both the Carrera and Carrera S. that jeopardizes Porsche's overall pricing and profitability model. Just as GM once became hostage to it's brand hierarchy and couldnt respond to new competitors, now Porsche is in this position. I would trade my 911 in for a Cayman Turbo, but I am not holding my breadth for that to happen.


LACMANLACMAN - 1/18/2010 10:44:12 AM
+1 Boost
"And we all fell for the con."

Umm, no. We "all" didnt fall for anything. Maybe owners of those vehicles did, I didnt. I dont own either one and out of all of the Porsche models, I have never had the desire to.


uhn2000uhn2000 - 1/18/2010 10:46:52 AM
+2 Boost
I think Porsche was too busy designing their plan to take over the world with their VW bid and let you down. We know how that turned out, hope your dream goes better.


pennfootballpennfootball - 1/18/2010 10:53:32 AM
-5 Boost
Porsche is just as evil as any other car company the Cayman S had the same lap time around VIR as a 911 Carrrera S!! If they added a Turbo it would beat the 911's and people won't pony up 100 grand for a car with a rear motor that can't turn as well as the mid engined entry models....Porsche then in turn won't put a mid engine motor in a 911 then it will make the 959 obsolete and the Carrera GT!! They can't make cars too good and make money! They make good cars but they are run by EVIL an empire of Germany!


pushrod27pushrod27 - 1/18/2010 3:10:01 PM
+7 Boost
Agent 00J and 'Badgewhore' should collaborate on articles together. Maybe between the two of them they can cobble together one working brain.


Agent63Agent63 - 1/18/2010 11:47:29 PM
+2 Boost
You generalize too much my friend. What is it about your constant bash against people who buy cars out of your price range? You must have some inner demons that you need to get rid of. No one agrees with anything you say. Are you a former troll with another name? :). Hello welcome back!


pennfootballpennfootball - 1/19/2010 1:28:47 PM
0 Boost
Yea I say sooo many bad things about "pricey" Ferrari's...it's not the Price it is the German Arian Arrogance you fool! WAKE UP they rip people off and make them pay more for less, the Japs know this and are exploiting German weakness...granted they are uglier and don't handle as well yet but give you more car for the money. And I don't hate all german car's Audi's are not so bad and at least have spare tires!


pennfootballpennfootball - 1/19/2010 1:36:58 PM
0 Boost
PS I can afford them I have a freaking 2008 Subaru WRX Premium with nav...not impressive impulse buy and no cops bother me becasue its a hatchback and I drive to work in it...Jeep Wrangler Rubicon with a 3.5" lift kit, and 35 inch tires...Amazing off road toy...
Oh yea one more car my 1973 Ferrari 365 GTB/4 Daytona was a lil more pricey then your house! I normally won't do this but you pissed me off!


0to600to60 - 1/18/2010 11:26:17 AM
+6 Boost
lol


CarCrazedinCaliCarCrazedinCali - 1/18/2010 12:58:13 PM
+3 Boost
I agree with this comment. My opinion is that Porsche cannot offer a Turbo in the entry Boxster/Cayman because it WOULD out perform the more expensive 911. Woops. Personally I don't like the Boxter or Cayman, styling and interior are not good enough. Fix those and then maybe you'll see me driving one.


motionmotion - 1/18/2010 12:55:45 PM
+4 Boost
00J - you kinda got your facts all messed with your awesome conspiracy theory - the 928 never had a turbo and was produced for than twenty years. Maybe you should just stick to news reporting instead of making up bull.


Joe_LimonJoe_Limon - 1/18/2010 1:20:15 PM
+1 Boost
I think the conspiracy is the constant brainwashing that 36/64 weight distribution is acceptable. Not that the superior handling cars don't have turbos.


pcar4evrpcar4evr - 1/18/2010 1:24:21 PM
+2 Boost
Big conspiracy uncovered by AgitaJ - boxsters and caymans could handle more power. Who knew?


Joe_LimonJoe_Limon - 1/18/2010 4:14:44 PM
+1 Boost
So I wasn't that far off in stating that VW must be hitler by your logic, in response to you calling Toyota Obama? Porsche pretty much is VW.


pushrod27pushrod27 - 1/18/2010 4:47:44 PM
+7 Boost
why are the dumbest people always so sure and loud?


Joe_LimonJoe_Limon - 1/19/2010 1:35:33 AM
+3 Boost
Since Porsche messed up, and VW became the controlling owner of Porsche, I argue that Porsche is VW. They have lost their soul, and will continue on the path to dilute their heritage. Next up are eco cars.


enthusiastx11enthusiastx11 - 1/21/2010 1:11:52 PM
+1 Boost
badgewhore:

you consistently sound like a little totalitarian dictator yourself.


investor27investor27 - 1/18/2010 8:19:45 PM
+2 Boost
Turbo on a Cayman? No thanks! I would gladly settled for Porsche to put the naturally aspirated 911 3.6L or the 3.8L engine in the Cayman and call it the Club or RS or whatever. Give me that instead of a turbo engine any day.


M53RM53R - 1/19/2010 2:33:17 AM
+1 Boost
How about them offering the same old boring, uninspired, out-dated, dare I say ugly designs for the past 50 years?


enthusiastx11enthusiastx11 - 1/20/2010 8:46:16 PM
+1 Boost
what the hell are babbling about? they make SPECTACULAR cars that sell for HUGE premiums over other cars because...they're better driving and better looking.


enthusiastx11enthusiastx11 - 1/20/2010 8:47:52 PM
+1 Boost
furthermore, making a turbo cayman or boxster would be very bad for a sports car brand. you can't have a less model either A) outperforming the 911 or B) costing more than a 911. duh.


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