The verdict came in faster than a Rimac Nevera on a prepped airstrip: the new electric Cayenne is already a certified design miss, and the internet wasted exactly zero hours letting Porsche know.
Within 48 hours of the reveal, the memes were brutal and unanimous: “Congrats Porsche, you spent eight figures developing a Genesis GV90 that costs twice as much.” Ouch.jpg. When your $120,000+ flagship EV gets roasted for looking like a $65k Korean that’s still two years from showrooms, you’ve officially fumbled the vibe check.
That’s how boring this thing is. In a single viral side-by-side, the Cayenne EV went from “most anticipated electric Porsche ever” to “Genesis called, they want their silhouette back.” The jokes write themselves: same teardrop greenhouse, same melted-jellybean lower half, same “I was designed purely in a wind tunnel by someone terrified of character lines.” The Genesis GV90 concept hasn’t even entered production yet and it’s already bodying the Cayenne EV in the group chats.
Meanwhile, the alpha wagons are out there flexing like it’s 1999 Moscow all over again. G-Wagens still look like they’re about to demand your papers. Defenders have that boxy, “I was forged in a coal mine” swagger. Broncos show up looking like they just finished mud-wrestling a Raptor for fun. Every one of them has a face you remember after one glance. The Cayenne EV? You’ll forget it while it’s still parked in front of you.
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Imagine if Porsche had swung for the fences instead: upright stance, flat hood, round retro-futuristic headlights, fenders you could land drones on; basically the electric love child of a 959 Dakar and a G-Class that hits the gym. Same PPE platform, same 700+ hp, same obsessive engineering, but a body that actually makes Rivian owners nervous and G-Wagen drivers check their mirrors.
Instead we got a fast luxury egg that the internet has already unanimously declared “the Genesis GV90 for people who hate being noticed.” By this time next year it’ll be collecting dust on the same docks as the Fisker Ocean and the EQS SUV, while dealers beg Stuttgart to send more V8s.
Porsche REALLY missed the mark. When the memes compare the Cayenne design to a Genesis GV, you’ve already lost. Welcome to the Island of Misfit EVs, Cayenne. The GV90 sends its regards.