Oh, California, the land of sunshine, celebrities, and now, skyrocketing stupidity. Governor Gavin Newsom, with his perfectly coiffed hair and eco-warrior mandates, has just scared off another mega-corporation. Valero Energy is swallowing a whopping $1.1 billion loss just to bolt from the Golden State by April 2026. That's right— they'd rather torch a billion dollars than play by Newsom's rules. If that's not a red flag waving like a beach towel in a hurricane, what is?
Picture this: Valero's Benicia refinery, churning out 145,000 barrels of oil daily, accounts for 8.6% of California's gasoline. Poof! Gone. Four hundred hardworking employees? Pink-slipped into unemployment lines. Two hundred contractors? Left scrambling for scraps. And poor Benicia? Kiss 17% of your city budget goodbye— that's schools, roads, and fire departments taking the hit. All because Newsom's green dreams are turning into a fiscal nightmare.
But wait, there's more pain at the pump! Economists from UC Davis predict a 40-cent-per-gallon spike when Phillips 66 shutters its LA refinery this December, followed by an 81-cent gut-punch from Valero's exit. That's a $1.21 jump by August 2026, turning your average 15-gallon fill-up from $70 to $95. Feeling fancy? Stanford's Energy Institute warns of $8-per-gallon spikes during shortages. Even UC Berkeley's energy guru, Severin Borenstein, is sounding the alarm on "severe gasoline shortages" and "unprecedented" hikes.
Newsom's California: Where businesses flee like rats from a sinking ship, and drivers pay the price for virtue-signaling policies. Who needs affordable gas when you've got Hollywood vibes? Keep it up, Gav— soon we'll all be biking to work in $10 smoothies.