OUCH: Writer Calls 2011 Infiniti QX56 "The Biggest Loser"

Well, people may have given us some trouble when we just came out and told you what the Spies really thought of the 2011 Infiniti QX56 when it debuted. We nicknamed it after Tom Carvel's infamous "Fudgie the Whale."

Funny thing is, we weren't the only one making cracks about it in the pressroom, the only difference is we had the brass to talk about it.

Thankfully, someone else has come out and is telling it how it is: Scott Burgess, you've got the Spies' respect.

But before you harpoon Burgess or even us, realize it hasn't only been a slugfest and that we're all "bias." Burgess acknowledges the 2011 QX has a fantastic motor, the only problem is it is hampered with its "road manners." Secondly, we give credit where it's due: the QX's interior is a nice place to be. We dig it.

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In the TV show "The Biggest Loser," morbidly obese people fight through exercises and chocolate to gain fame and fortune as a thinner version of themselves. It's a show about potential and overcoming adversity. Inspiration blubbers up as bellies wilt away.

In the automotive world, the Biggest Loser is the 2011 Infiniti QX56 — and there's no hope it's going to transform into a svelte G37 sedan. No, at the end of the season, the QX56 will still blot out the sun when parked on top of a hill.

There's nothing inspiring about this made-over SUV, though it's bigger and wider than ever before. Here's the tale of the tape: 79.9 inches wide, 75.8 inches tall and 208.3 inches long. For comparison, the 2009 Hummer H2 — the poster child for excess — is 79.2 inches tall, 81.2 inches wide and 203.5 inches long — yet I have not seen one environmentalist protesting outside an Infiniti dealership.

Stop reading and take a good look at this SUV. Soak it all — it will take a while...