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I've not always been very kind about BMW owners. While their cars are usually hard to fault - apart from the 1-Series, of course - they seem to be driven by angry businessmen and skinny women (role models: Alan Sugar and Teri Hatcher). In a rash moment in one piece, I may actually have branded all BMV drivers as "bad people". This was a stupid thing to say, for all sorts of reasons, not least because I used to own a BMW.

My model had little in common with the new BMW M6 I tried this week, however. It was an old crock that had escaped from a scrapyard under cover of darkness and spent some time foraging in the woods before being trapped by the second-hand car dealer who sold it to me. It went very, very slowly. Because it had an iffy carburettor and dodgy brakes, it did this even when I would have preferred it to have stopped, so I often had to plan ahead to ensure there would be a bollard or wall to bring me to a halt, at which point I would jump out, lift the bonnet and fiddle with the carburettor until the engine died. Visits to marinas were a no-no.

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