Picture this: you’re a broke college student in California, drowning in tuition fees and ramen budgets, and the state’s latest brainwave to solve the housing crisis is… drumroll… letting you live in your car! Yes, a new proposal suggests students can skip dorms and apartments—because who needs a roof when you’ve got a rusty Honda Civic?
The logic? Housing is pricey, so why not embrace the “van life” aesthetic, but without the Instagram filters? Forget cozy beds; your backseat is now your studio apartment! Need a shower? Hit the campus gym. Kitchen? That’s what fast food drive-thrus are for. And safety? Well, just lock your doors and pray nobody mistakes your car for a free Airbnb.
Critics are losing it. “This is nuts!” screams one professor, probably picturing parking lots turning into shantytowns. “No, this is insane!” yells a student, clutching their $80 textbook. They’re not wrong. Turning campuses into glorified campgrounds isn’t a solution—it’s a dystopian sitcom. Imagine finals week: students cramming for exams while curled up next to a spare tire, their car horns blaring from accidental elbow bumps.
California, we get it—housing costs are wild. But telling students to live like nomadic gearheads isn’t the fix. Let’s try building affordable dorms instead of pitching “Car Sweet Car” as the new American Dream. Sheesh, what’s next—Zoom classes from the trunk?