Spies, we know you move like shadows, but even the sharpest operators need wheels to get from the Thanksgiving table to the Black Friday chaos (and back again without leaving a trail). So tell us: what’s your go-to ride this weekend?
Is it the unassuming gray sedan that blends into every parking lot from Costco to the outlet malls? The lifted black SUV with tinted windows that screams “don’t even think about tailgating me”? Or are you still loyal to that beat-up cargo van with the fake plumber logo that somehow holds fourteen relatives, six pumpkin pies, and a trunk full of door-buster deals without anyone asking questions?
Maybe you’re rolling in something European and low-slung that makes the neighborhood watch clutch their pearls, or perhaps it’s the all-American pickup that can haul both the turkey fryer and whatever 75-inch TV is 70% off at 3 a.m. Some of you, we suspect, are still wedged into that 20-year-old hatchback held together by burner phones and optimism (respect).
Whatever it is, we want to hear the legend. That time you exfiltrated Aunt Karen from the dinner table before the political talk started and still made it to the electronics store before the doors opened. The year the hatch wouldn’t close because of the air fryer pallets and you tied it down with an extension cord like a true professional. Or the legendary 4 a.m. waffle-house debrief in the Walmart parking lot after securing the last PlayStation under armed guard (okay, maybe just a very determined shopping cart).
Drop your ride, your war stories, and your proudest Thanksgiving/Black Friday combined-ops moments below. Bonus points if the vehicle has ever been used for both transporting a 22-pound turkey and making a clean getaway from a crowded mall.
And while you’re here, feel free to flex those predictive skills: give us your weekend football locks. We’ll keep them off the official record (mostly).
To every one of you (lurkers in the comments, legends in the field, and everyone who’s ever parallel-parked under pressure): thank you for your continued support, your service, and for keeping the tradition alive. Have an outstanding Thanksgiving weekend. Eat too much, spend too wisely, travel safely, and may your exits always be cleaner than your entrances.
Now, sound off, agents. What’s rolling up to the curb this year?